Morning, afternoon or evening hellooos to everyone wherever you are!!!!
While I was travelling back to Germany last Saturday after spending two weeks in my home country, I realized how gas stations and restaurants near highways are empty with a few people walking in and out with face masks on and with eyes wide open, like they expect something spectacular to happen. All that wasn´t surprising having in mind the whole post COVID boom situation. But, what surprised me the most was the atmosphere that stood in the air all around, like a heavy cloud of fear and disconnection. That made me think about bonds and strings that keep people together, regardless of situation that happens around them.
In my twenties I used to go out, meet new people, and gradually realized that after meet and greet and exploration our common interests, more often than not there were not much that kept us together as friends, and we became acquaintances and later strangers. I am not saying that we need to become good friends with everyone we meet, but to find a purpose in connection that matters to us. In those early days connections I had seemed to be enough, but later in my thirties I started to look for more meaningful connections that last and will not break down, because one of us was in bad mood one day or because I said something rude to other person without thinking. I have started to look for long-lasting purpose driven connections either in work or personal settings. What came for me in that search was actually my own inner work, or in other words I came to realization that regardless of what happens outside in terms of life-situation and collective behavior, I always can treat myself well and with care, by asking myself questions as follows (my inspirational B. Brown):
- Was I clear about my own boundaries in the situation around what is okay and isn’t okay? And was I clear about boundaries of other people what´s okay and what is not okay?
- Can I hold myself accountable about what I say or what I will do or I blame others?
- Did I live my values (values = beliefs I hold to be true for me) in that situation?
- Was I non-judgmental to myself when I needed help?
- Was I kind and compassionate toward myself?
Whenever my answer was NO, I knew I needed to work on that. My NOs showed me the way to start building purposeful connection with myself and consequently with others. In the NO there is a way to connect more. I know it may sound strange, but without NO, there will be no YES which means no connections.
How many NOs have you counted?
My deepest hope for the mankind is that current COVID situation will make us think about how we can connect not only more, but with purpose and meaning and enjoy those connections in a way we are meant to do.
Hope my read above triggered some thinking for you and encourage you to start re-creating healthy connections with yourself and people around you.
Stay well and connected!